1 00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:09,740 Cork. God don't count it. The city that never sleeps. 2 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,240 Except at night time. 3 00:00:11,540 --> 00:00:14,480 The greatest and largest city in all of Ireland. 4 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:15,960 If you don't count Dublin. 5 00:00:16,219 --> 00:00:17,320 Which we don't. 6 00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:23,440 And now Cork's two most notorious sons, Conor McQueenie and Jocko Key, finally 7 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,400 back together in Ireland's city of dreams. 8 00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:27,480 Why this place does my head in? 9 00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:29,720 Yeah, why me too? 10 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,720 I mean, I really love Cork. 11 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:38,260 I obviously love Cork. Yeah, but it does my head in as well. Yeah, exactly. 12 00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:40,680 Why does it do your head in? 13 00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:44,260 Just checking out if it does your head in the same way it does my head in. 14 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,520 Well, there's dickheads vaping on e -bikes everywhere. 15 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,080 And since I came home, boy, everything's got ten times more expensive. 16 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:51,880 Stop telling me. 17 00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:55,660 Boy, beer's ten times more expensive, fags are more expensive, Freddos are 18 00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:57,980 expensive. Yeah, you've got to be rich to live in Cork now, boy. 19 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,180 Boy, if there's one thing Colombian jail taught me... 20 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:05,200 If you want to survive in this world, you've got to be more Escobar. 21 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,400 That's the one thing Columbia did, aren't you? 22 00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:10,000 Well, that and how to shove a burner phone up my hood. 23 00:01:10,860 --> 00:01:11,860 Sorry, madam. 24 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,000 What are you looking at? What? 25 00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:18,260 I wear Italian, I drive German, but I speak English. Do you speak English? 26 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:19,980 English? Yes. 27 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,880 Well, I just asked you the plainest English I know. What are you looking at, 28 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:24,880 little screw? 29 00:01:25,609 --> 00:01:27,390 Like a woman priest? 30 00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:30,310 I'll tell you what you're looking at. You're looking at seven years 31 00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:34,530 for actual bodily harm, another five years for harassment, and maybe another 32 00:01:34,530 --> 00:01:37,490 for criminal damage to a very expensive pair of designer shoes. 33 00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:40,190 And I will insist that you serve them consecutively. 34 00:01:40,410 --> 00:01:41,410 Oh. 35 00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:44,170 It means one year after another, you tick prick. 36 00:01:44,550 --> 00:01:47,350 You're a lucky, lucky boy that I'm due in court in about six minutes and I 37 00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:48,350 have time for this harsh shit. 38 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:51,690 Now repeat back to me so I know you understand. What are you? Lucky, lucky, 39 00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:52,548 lucky boy. 40 00:01:52,550 --> 00:01:53,890 Yes, you are. Now, papers. 41 00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,630 I'll be there in two minutes! 42 00:02:05,230 --> 00:02:06,670 Who the hell was that? 43 00:02:06,950 --> 00:02:08,289 That's Molly O'Mulloy. 44 00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:12,970 Cork's best lawyer boy. She got two lads off her gangland hit when you were in 45 00:02:12,970 --> 00:02:16,290 Columbia. He was attacked, his reflexes kicked in and just because it ended in 46 00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:18,250 decapitation doesn't mean that's not self -defense. 47 00:02:18,610 --> 00:02:19,850 Why, I think I'm in love. 48 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,680 Yeah, she wouldn't be interested in us anyway. 49 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,700 She kind of deals with big -time criminals. 50 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,960 Got to kill about five people and chop up their bodies and put them in chest 51 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,000 freezers for us to be on her radar, like. 52 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:38,100 Jeez, boy, yeah, that is a little too Escobar. Besides, she's too expensive. 53 00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:40,860 Boy, this is what I'm saying, boy. 54 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,120 We have to get rich. 55 00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:45,620 Because only rich people can afford lawyers like that that actually keep you 56 00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:46,620 of prison. 57 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,600 There's only one way to get rich around here. 58 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,800 Yes, boy, I like it. 59 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,140 Be more Escobar and become proper gangsters. 60 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,240 Boys gonna say get jobs. That's way better idea. 61 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:58,700 Yeah, boy, you know it. 62 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:04,140 Bad boys, bad boys. What you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for 63 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,060 What are we gonna do, Joss? 64 00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:09,820 We're gonna go on a crime spree, boy. 65 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:11,840 Like the olden days. But better. 66 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,620 Because we're older and wiser now. Do you know what I mean? We're definitely 67 00:03:15,620 --> 00:03:18,720 older. All we have to do is focus on the expensive shit that's easy to sell. 68 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:20,240 Because that's how we make the most dollar. 69 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,300 Dollar? You mean euros? 70 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,260 What? No, dollars, like. 71 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,600 The gangsters, they're dollars. 72 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,660 That's because the gangsters you're thinking of are American. 73 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:28,880 Well, it doesn't matter, right? 74 00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:30,420 Well, 75 00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:34,099 I need to be shocked. 76 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,780 Make a list, okay? And keep sketching, okay? 77 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,600 So, what we're talking... Gold. 78 00:03:43,980 --> 00:03:44,980 Jewelry. 79 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,200 Bracelets. Rings. 80 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:48,300 Tools. 81 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,200 Sandals. 82 00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:52,700 White socks. 83 00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:54,130 White Sox. Name? 84 00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:55,948 White Sox. 85 00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:57,850 We... Wait, what? White Sox? 86 00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:00,330 Small, sellable, everyone wears white socks. 87 00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:03,330 They're not exactly expensive, though, are they, like white socks? Six pack of 88 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,990 white socks will get you back about 20 quid, do you think? 89 00:04:05,350 --> 00:04:06,690 20 quid? Easily, mate. 90 00:04:06,910 --> 00:04:07,910 Shut... Really? 91 00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:09,310 You've been away too long, Kate. 92 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,370 All right, come on, let's do this. Right. 93 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,140 Why, no. No, boy, get the mask. 94 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,959 All right, boy, no, I need to stretch or something for it. What, no, boy, we 95 00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:17,959 don't have time for that, all right? 96 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,500 Let's do this now, okay? One big hit in and out job, okay? 97 00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:23,020 Five minutes tops. I haven't done anything in a while. Five minutes. Five 98 00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:24,020 minutes, boy. 99 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,900 That's how long it takes to get here from Bridewell Garda Station once the 100 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:27,799 alarm's been raised. 101 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,060 All right, is that why you asked me to bring the mask? Yes, give me the mask, 102 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,960 boy. The masks are our trademark. 103 00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:33,159 Yeah, come on. 104 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,100 Jock found this site on the internet where you could send them photos of 105 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,820 and they'd send you back a mask to their face. 106 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,660 So we sent him a photo of Billy Markley, the local nut job. You think, Billy? 107 00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,710 It meant Billy got the blame for all our crimes. 108 00:04:48,110 --> 00:04:51,230 Go on, get your tongue off me. Shut up! Jack got me a mask, too. 109 00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:52,470 Quick, put that on. 110 00:04:53,950 --> 00:04:57,370 It's all they had in the Halloween shop. And thus, we became legends around 111 00:04:57,370 --> 00:04:59,830 court. Fake Billy and Prince David. Who's the girlfriend? 112 00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:01,210 I'm not his girlfriend! 113 00:05:01,550 --> 00:05:03,570 It was time to build our criminal empire. 114 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:05,370 Again, like. 115 00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:08,930 Wait, wait. 116 00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:27,840 What are you doing? Wait a second. Wait a second. 117 00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:28,479 Wait a second. 118 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,140 Wait a second. 119 00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:45,770 Get out of the fucking way! 120 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:46,970 Get out of the fucking way! Get out of the fucking way! 121 00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:49,390 Get out of the fucking 122 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:56,390 way! 123 00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:18,590 All right, you go and get the bike and I'll go after him, all right? 124 00:06:22,070 --> 00:06:25,450 I love bins. 125 00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:31,710 Jeez, we're getting too fucking old for this shit. 126 00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:33,530 And what did we get away with? 127 00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:38,250 Some shitty phone case and three white socks. 128 00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:39,209 That's it. 129 00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:42,370 We'll only be able to get a Freddo with that. We're going to have to come up 130 00:06:42,370 --> 00:06:45,150 with a plan B. We'll be back in prison in no time if we don't change another 131 00:06:45,150 --> 00:06:46,150 plan. 132 00:06:46,180 --> 00:06:47,260 Yeah, yeah, yeah, great. 133 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,160 Why are you even listening to me? 134 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:51,000 You know, two little shits over there. 135 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:53,240 Yeah? 136 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:54,419 So what? 137 00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:57,180 So what if they saw us on the crime screen and they tell the guard? 138 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,440 Why would they do that? Why would everybody hate the guards? 139 00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:01,200 I know they might not tell you. Oh, shit. 140 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,340 It is them. 141 00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:05,660 All right. 142 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,080 Hold still, Adam. 143 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,120 Who do you think it was? 144 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,520 Drake, Billy and Princess. 145 00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:13,960 We saw them taking flight from the chairs a minute ago. 146 00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:15,620 No. 147 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,330 There's just two langers in the bin. Come on. 148 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:18,670 What? 149 00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:23,150 They were not just two langers in the bin. Yeah? 150 00:07:23,350 --> 00:07:26,870 You don't know. He might be fake, Billy. Yeah, I might be, but maybe I'm not. 151 00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:28,090 But maybe I am. 152 00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:29,409 Prove it, sir. 153 00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:31,730 I don't need to fucking prove anything to you two langers. 154 00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:35,490 Here, what, Barbara, did your hair cut so he can know where not to go? Your 155 00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:38,010 All right, shit. 156 00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,730 That's where we're going, right? All I see is a prick with a condom on his 157 00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:42,599 shoulder. What? 158 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,820 We don't have a condom on the shoulder. Jesus, boy. What the fuck? You put that 159 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:47,220 there. Get up. 160 00:07:47,940 --> 00:07:50,280 Don't throw it at me. Don't throw it at me. 161 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:52,720 What about that, huh? 162 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:54,840 Holy shit. 163 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,600 Oh, 164 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,540 that's less cool, but nice to meet you. 165 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,120 And where have you been? 166 00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:03,540 I haven't seen you fake Billy around the place at all. I was in prison, boy. I 167 00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:05,740 was doing some time there in Columbia. 168 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,100 Can we film you saying that so we can snap it to the boys? 169 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:09,960 Snap it to the boys? 170 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,140 I've no idea what you're talking about. You know, like, selfie, like, you know? 171 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,040 We don't do selfies. No, don't do that kind. 172 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,320 What, with a hand, sir? 173 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:18,780 I'll give you a hand, Chase, yeah? 174 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,560 Nice to meet you, boys. 175 00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:23,020 You seem like nice young lads, you're going. Hey, get over here. 176 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,220 See you later, buddy. Get in! 177 00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:29,860 Fast. 178 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,780 In fairness, like, Daddy, something we would have done. 179 00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:34,520 Cheeky little bastards, but, yeah, I suppose fair play, like. 180 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:35,720 Yeah. 181 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,320 Bye. 182 00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:43,360 We might be a bit past it, but are you thinking what I'm thinking? 183 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,220 Maybe. Eh? 184 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,220 What are you thinking? 185 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,240 The time we took on some new blood. 186 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,340 No, I was thinking of getting out of the bin. 187 00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:52,860 I don't know. 188 00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:54,580 I suppose. 189 00:08:56,140 --> 00:08:59,580 Rome wasn't built in a day, but that's because they didn't have any dumb little 190 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:03,620 langurs to do their dirty work. We heard you wanted to see us. Yeah. 191 00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:07,260 Maybe we did, maybe we didn't. 192 00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:08,670 We did. Watch. 193 00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:11,790 Don't do that again. 194 00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:13,250 What's with the gap? 195 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:17,670 We thought fake Billy and Princess would have something with an all -bigger. 196 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,010 I know. I thought it would become like a mansion with a pool and all that. We're 197 00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:21,970 just laying low, aren't we? Just the front. 198 00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:25,630 That's how you don't get caught, boy. Yeah. And the back is way better. It's 199 00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:28,410 massive. You can call it Connor and Jack from now on, alright? 200 00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:29,790 I forward you, yeah? 201 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:32,190 Alright? Now listen up, boys, alright? 202 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,920 It's time me and Con pass on our wisdom and expertise to the younger generation. 203 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,480 That's us? That's you, yeah. 204 00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,780 You're going to be our foot soldiers, alright? 205 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:44,440 And me and Con are going to be the dons. Bring us back expensive, sellable goods 206 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:50,080 that you rob from the shopping centres and in return, you get 10%. Lex, 207 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,000 commission, handling fees, admin, taxes, etc. 208 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,360 It's the free market. 209 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:55,580 Now does that sound like a good deal to you? 210 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,240 Yep, 211 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,089 amazing deal. 212 00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:04,230 Gee, boy, you do sound like a younger us. 213 00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:06,710 Thanks, Conor. It means a lot, boy. Hi. 214 00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:10,450 Um, while we're here, is there any chance you can hear some stories from 215 00:10:10,450 --> 00:10:12,330 hottest mode, like, say, Billy and Princess stuff? 216 00:10:12,710 --> 00:10:15,210 Oh, well, we don't know about that. 217 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:19,630 If we could do you one better, we could tell you ourselves. 218 00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:20,970 Yeah. 219 00:10:21,190 --> 00:10:22,190 Okay. 220 00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:26,990 One time we were being shit, and we left clean from two skyscrapers. 221 00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:31,130 Ran off into the night. 222 00:10:31,550 --> 00:10:35,750 There was also that time we single -handedly fought off a mugger who held 223 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,570 night point. Do we look like we got wallets? 224 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:43,810 No, go on. And there was that time we were under siege and we dodged a hail of 225 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:44,810 bullets. 226 00:10:45,530 --> 00:10:50,750 There was also that time we robbed a tuna worth half a million quid. 227 00:10:52,570 --> 00:10:53,970 You guys are legends. 228 00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:55,470 Yeah, we know. 229 00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:58,930 Before you go, lads, would you like a smoke? 230 00:11:00,439 --> 00:11:02,700 That was the taste. 231 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:05,080 Noodles fail. On your way to go home. 232 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:09,800 Go home and go to bed, yeah? Don't be smoky. Or else you'll be sleeping with 233 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,600 fishes if you don't bring us back the stuff. 234 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:12,920 Yeah. 235 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,280 Being an entrepreneur has its difficulties. 236 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,700 Mainly pronouncing entrepreneur right. That's about it. 237 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,200 The rest is easy. This is the life. 238 00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:25,260 Running the operation instead of being the foot -holder. 239 00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:26,620 Yeah, boy. 240 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,280 I'm the king of Cork City! 241 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,680 This is what I meant by being more Escobar. 242 00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:35,760 Yeah. I... Actually, I looked more into him, boy. Oh, yeah? He did some pretty 243 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:36,760 crazy things. 244 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,100 Yeah, boy. The original bad, boy. Yeah. 245 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,080 Kidnappings. Yeah. Corruption. 246 00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:45,840 Intimidation. One of a kind. One of a kind. Car bombing. 247 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,640 Plane bombing, actually. 248 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:49,900 There was a violence against civilians. 249 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,660 Yeah, but no one's perfect, okay? Terror campaign, some political 250 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:56,540 assassinations, and he just actually wiped out loads of culture, right? But 251 00:11:56,540 --> 00:12:00,280 look, I didn't say follow him to the letter, all right? I just said be a bit 252 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,940 more, man. Just a bit. 253 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:07,180 Yeah, I can be a bit more, about. Yeah. The next thing we need is a henchman, 254 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,239 you know? 255 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,320 Somebody who can, like, bash heads for us. 256 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,280 Right. All right. 257 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:13,940 Who are we going to get? 258 00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:17,420 Flex. Flex up. 259 00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:21,840 Thanks for the opportunity. 260 00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:26,100 You know, as my colleague said to you on the phone earlier, we're looking to 261 00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,120 expand the organisation. 262 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,119 We are. 263 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,220 We're kind of criminalised now, so we're forming a bit of a gang. 264 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:32,640 All right. 265 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:33,820 Can I get involved? 266 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,220 What do you think we phoned you for? 267 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,120 We're looking for a heavy. 268 00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,260 I am quite heavy. 269 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,100 So I could put rocks in my pocket. 270 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:48,160 We might need you to bash a few heads for us. 271 00:12:48,490 --> 00:12:49,530 Try to do that anyway. 272 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,570 The pay is pretty terrible. 273 00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:54,130 It is. You know what they say, you know? 274 00:12:54,410 --> 00:12:57,530 Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. 275 00:12:57,970 --> 00:12:59,770 You'll never work a day in your life. 276 00:13:00,590 --> 00:13:01,590 That's beautiful. 277 00:13:02,690 --> 00:13:04,170 That's pretty good. All right, Billy. 278 00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:05,870 Welcome aboard. 279 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:06,910 Thanks very much. 280 00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:08,570 The boys are back in town. 281 00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:11,890 Yeah. Teach a man to fish and he'll get you a fish. 282 00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:15,870 Teach a couple of lads to steal and you get all kinds of shit. 283 00:13:16,130 --> 00:13:17,130 Boom. 284 00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:22,500 What are we supposed to do with that? Want me to bash their heads in. 285 00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:25,600 Do you know how expensive a pack of nappies are gone? 286 00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:28,080 And a six -pack of white socks will set you back about 20 euros these days. 287 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,320 Yeah. 288 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,940 Shit, he said a six -pack of white socks would set you back about 20 euros. 289 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,600 Oh, you want me to bash their heads? 290 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:36,719 Talk to me, please. 291 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,720 Well, you taught her wrong, didn't you? 292 00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:40,760 How are we supposed to build an empire on nappies and socks? 293 00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:43,940 No, do you want me to bash their heads in? No. Yeah, especially this fella 294 00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:45,600 Not no, Billy, not no. We're really sorry. 295 00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:48,160 I promise you we can do better. Just give us one chance, please. 296 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,600 Alright, one more chance boys. 297 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,120 Pack this shit up and get back out there. Alright, good. 298 00:13:58,780 --> 00:13:59,780 What's going on here? 299 00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:02,860 Yeah, 300 00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:07,660 my bullshit meter just exploded. There's a shop up the road half price sales, 301 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:08,720 better get yourself a new one. 302 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:12,180 Alright, I'm going to ask you one more time, what's going on here? 303 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,240 Alright, the truth is, the reason we haven't told you... 304 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:22,540 The reason we haven't told you is because we have a reputation to uphold 305 00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:28,140 Jack, but since he got back, we've realized the error in our ways. So we've 306 00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:29,940 mentoring young lads in DSA. 307 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,900 So the first are these two young fellas, Jack and Karma. Hi. 308 00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:36,600 Is that the truth, lad? 309 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,240 Yeah. 310 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,500 Billy, what are you doing here? 311 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:44,400 Definitely not bashing heads anyway, Maria. 312 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:46,320 Wait a second. 313 00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:47,750 What's in the bag? 314 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:49,670 Nappies and socks. 315 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,550 Nappies and socks. 316 00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,550 Yeah. Go on, go on. 317 00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:59,890 The nappies and socks, look. 318 00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:06,090 We're handing them out to the people that are in need of them, the nappies 319 00:15:06,090 --> 00:15:06,669 the socks. 320 00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:09,710 Yeah. We're supplying them to young mams. 321 00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:11,790 Oh, wow. 322 00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,470 That's amazing. 323 00:15:13,690 --> 00:15:14,690 It is. 324 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,780 All right, keep up the good work, lads, all right? 325 00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:20,500 And listen to Conor and Jock because they know what they're talking about, 326 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,500 right? We will. 327 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:22,760 We do. 328 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,840 They might be proud of Conor and Jock. 329 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,200 They're going to be sick. 330 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,640 Bye, lads. Thanks a million, ma 'am. 331 00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,900 See you now. You look beautiful today, eh? 332 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:35,800 You look hot and red. 333 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,120 Shut up, John. 334 00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:41,720 With Mam and Healy off our back... Me and Jock were finally getting some much 335 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,220 -needed rest and relaxation. 336 00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:46,240 Connor, get up off your lazy arse and do something productive with the day! 337 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,520 Mairead, to be fair, they're probably wrecked from all their mentoring. 338 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,220 Okay? I know how hard it is to keep the pricks in check. 339 00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:01,580 Quick, pick up that shit. Act like we're litter picking. What? Pick up that 340 00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:02,580 shit. Act like we're litter picking. 341 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,060 They're good lads, aren't they? 342 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,200 Yeah. 343 00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:13,520 I might get them to have a look at the garden. 344 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,120 Oh, they're alright, yeah. 345 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:22,000 What time do you call these? 346 00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:23,620 We got to start. 347 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,580 We can come back, though. Whatever you want. 348 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,680 No, do you want to show us now? No, I don't. 349 00:16:37,950 --> 00:16:40,150 What did your dog say? I didn't, but it looked proper, eh? 350 00:16:41,590 --> 00:16:43,290 Oh, kind of. Yeah. 351 00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:44,710 Yeah. 352 00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:49,770 That's the word I'm talking about. There we go, mate. 353 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,110 There we go. 354 00:16:51,490 --> 00:16:53,090 Class, well done. Good stuff, yeah. 355 00:16:53,410 --> 00:16:54,470 Happy day. Are you pleased? 356 00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:59,330 Yeah, I'm very pleased, mate. Delighted? Yeah, I'm a fair billion princess 357 00:16:59,330 --> 00:17:03,050 proud. Boys, you're like the dads we never had. Yeah. 358 00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:05,250 Dads. Dads. Yeah. 359 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:11,220 Yeah, can we not be like your cool older brothers or uncles or something? 360 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,500 You have your own dad. We don't need to be them, don't you? 361 00:17:15,099 --> 00:17:16,099 Nah. 362 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,260 Our dad left when we were babies. It's just the two of us and a man. 363 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,520 Well, all I can say is fair play. 364 00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:24,939 Well done. 365 00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:28,600 We're very proud of you. Get out there. Go get him. Go get him. 366 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,040 We have a few more people that want to get involved. 367 00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:32,480 Yeah, if that's all right with you. 368 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:33,680 Look. 369 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:53,700 Me and Jock like to think of our business as carbon neutral. 370 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,180 Robbing shit doesn't do nothing bad to the environment. 371 00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:57,620 It's about sustainability. 372 00:17:58,180 --> 00:17:59,620 Self -sustainability. 373 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,300 We take, we sell. 374 00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:05,570 And sometimes we rob the same shit back from the people we sold it to. That's 375 00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:06,549 called recycling. 376 00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:10,130 Doing your bit for the planet. Be the change you want to see in the world. 377 00:18:10,650 --> 00:18:12,850 Preferably the kind of change that jingles in your pocket. 378 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,860 Like the guitarist from the video, I'm being new friends. 379 00:18:33,260 --> 00:18:35,340 Forgotten, wasted, you know, seen. 380 00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:38,620 I'm a bunch of getting sent to the food bin. 381 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:44,880 What 382 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:51,880 are you boys 383 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:52,539 up to? 384 00:18:52,540 --> 00:18:53,960 Hey. No. Hey. 385 00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:55,380 Stretching. 386 00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:01,050 The perpetrators of this crime spree appear to be predominantly young males. 387 00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:03,430 It seems there's nothing they won't steal. 388 00:19:04,050 --> 00:19:06,190 Give him back! Give him back! 389 00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:08,370 These little pricks are running rings around us. 390 00:19:08,950 --> 00:19:11,670 Those thieving little shits could do with a bit of guidance from you lads. 391 00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:15,670 Well, if you want to send any of them our way, I'm sure. I'm sure me and Con 392 00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:17,230 could put them to work. Yeah, exactly. 393 00:19:17,630 --> 00:19:18,429 If only. 394 00:19:18,430 --> 00:19:19,950 We can't get our hands on any of them. 395 00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:22,990 Whoever's running this operation knows exactly what they're doing. 396 00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:25,050 They're geniuses. 397 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,550 We're probably quite big dick, would you say, Jack? 398 00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:36,110 Healy? 399 00:19:37,470 --> 00:19:38,470 No way. 400 00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:41,130 That's the main thing. Okay, I'll be there straight away. 401 00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:46,630 Tony? They're after catching two lads. The duty sergeant thinks they might be 402 00:19:46,630 --> 00:19:47,569 the ringleaders. 403 00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:48,870 Hey, Jack. 404 00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:51,010 Brilliant news, brilliant news. 405 00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:53,190 I've got my book right there. 406 00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:57,230 Boy, they got Jack and Carmel. We don't know that for sure, all right? 407 00:19:58,550 --> 00:20:01,630 And anyway, boy, we've got loads more of them working for us now, all right? So 408 00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,110 we can take the hit, OK? 409 00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:04,330 What? Take the hit? 410 00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:07,510 Yes. Why'd they look up to us? We're responsible for them. You're not 411 00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:10,750 responsible for them, boy. You need to start thinking more Escobar, boy, OK? 412 00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:12,010 What would Escobar do? 413 00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:15,750 Actually, boy, I googled him on Escobar. I think he'd, like, cut off their ears 414 00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:18,410 and burned their village down. So we're not doing that. 415 00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:20,030 That's a bit of an overreaction. 416 00:20:20,850 --> 00:20:25,090 We don't even know where they live, so... Besides, boy, they said we're like 417 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,029 their dad. 418 00:20:26,030 --> 00:20:27,710 We are not like dad to them, OK? 419 00:20:27,910 --> 00:20:30,810 We didn't even have dad, so how could we even be dad to them? 420 00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:34,270 The way I see it is, it's Hakuna Matata. 421 00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:36,110 What's Hakuna Matata? 422 00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:38,230 Hakuna Matata. It means tough shit. 423 00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:40,830 Connor, Jock, downstairs, now! 424 00:20:41,810 --> 00:20:42,810 Matata! 425 00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:46,930 Nice, nice place. 426 00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:49,450 We arrested Cormac and Jack. 427 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,729 Fuck, boy. 428 00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:52,770 And they told us everything. 429 00:20:53,070 --> 00:20:55,770 Little shits, boy. I'm going to knock their heads in, boy. I don't even care 430 00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:59,050 old they are, boy. No, Jack. Especially a little small fella. No, Jack, I know. 431 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:05,170 Look, before you say anything... They told us that their community work with 432 00:21:05,170 --> 00:21:06,430 was just a front to avoid suspicion. 433 00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:08,890 I'm so sorry, lads. 434 00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:11,190 Seems they've played us all for fools. 435 00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:12,630 You especially. 436 00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:16,390 Yeah. 437 00:21:18,350 --> 00:21:19,930 I wouldn't say fools. 438 00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:25,710 And if they are fools, I'd say they're fools with really big dicks. 439 00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:28,990 They also said that you told them to stay away from crime. 440 00:21:29,910 --> 00:21:32,710 Yeah, we did give them a lot of advice. 441 00:21:32,930 --> 00:21:37,070 And that was one of them. You said stay away from crime. 442 00:21:37,350 --> 00:21:40,870 I really hope that it doesn't stop you from working with young lads in the 443 00:21:40,870 --> 00:21:43,030 future, all right? I promise you, Mairead. 444 00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:47,250 It definitely won't. Yeah, there is not much that could keep Jack away from 445 00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:48,049 young boys. 446 00:21:48,050 --> 00:21:54,610 No. But would you say that maybe the fact that they confessed, surely that 447 00:21:54,610 --> 00:21:57,450 counts for a dime a dozen and you'll go easy on them. 448 00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,850 No, we're going to throw the book at them. They'll get 18 months if they get 449 00:21:59,850 --> 00:22:01,570 day. More if I have anything to do with it. 450 00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:03,350 You're going to throw a book at them? 451 00:22:04,070 --> 00:22:06,450 We have to help the lad. Yeah, we've got to get him off. 452 00:22:06,690 --> 00:22:08,150 And I know someone who can. 453 00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:09,690 What? 454 00:22:11,150 --> 00:22:12,150 Oh, really? 455 00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:15,480 I mean, they're 15, but if it helps, it helps. 456 00:22:16,020 --> 00:22:17,940 No, Jack, not get them all. 457 00:22:18,740 --> 00:22:19,820 Get them all. 458 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:21,660 What, Molly O'Malley? 459 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:24,980 No chance coming by. There's no way we can afford her. 460 00:22:25,380 --> 00:22:26,720 This says we can. 461 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,620 You are enough, short king, like ten times. 462 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:34,880 No, not that. 463 00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:37,880 Why, what's that? Just read that. 464 00:22:39,370 --> 00:22:40,910 7 ,800 euros. 465 00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:47,290 I know kind no way you should... Next 466 00:22:47,290 --> 00:22:53,990 up, Hormuc Byrne and Jack Byrne 467 00:22:53,990 --> 00:22:55,110 versus the state. 468 00:22:56,330 --> 00:22:58,030 Who is representing the defendant? 469 00:22:59,410 --> 00:23:02,770 Well, it looks like that would be my sweet answer, Your Honour. 470 00:23:03,290 --> 00:23:06,590 Oh, bollock. There must be some mistake, Miss O'Malloy. 471 00:23:07,330 --> 00:23:08,790 Min... Pardon? 472 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:10,019 It's Miss. 473 00:23:10,020 --> 00:23:12,660 There must be some mistake, Miss O'Molloy. 474 00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:13,900 Miss. 475 00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:16,060 Pardon? I've changed my mind now. It's Miss. 476 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:22,180 Well, I don't think this is the time. Oh, Judge Riley in courtroom sexism 477 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,240 Apologies, Miss O'Molloy. 478 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:28,300 Accepted. Now let's get this charade over with, shall we? 479 00:23:29,940 --> 00:23:30,940 Oh, I'm fucked. 480 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,600 Judge, members of the court. 481 00:23:38,780 --> 00:23:41,920 These two unknown perpetrators in this video, sure, they could be anybody. 482 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,800 There is no real or compelling evidence in this case. 483 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:49,500 The charges against my clients are farcical, which I will now prove. 484 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,040 Like if the glove does not fit, you must acquit. 485 00:23:56,940 --> 00:23:57,960 That glove fits. 486 00:24:00,860 --> 00:24:02,900 You can't handle the truth. 487 00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:05,380 I can handle the truth, Philly. 488 00:24:05,740 --> 00:24:11,220 Well, in fact, these two young men had nothing to do with the crime, Your 489 00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:12,220 Majesty. 490 00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:13,360 No more questions. 491 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,580 I have one simple question, Sergeant Healy. 492 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:18,620 Where were you on 9 -11? 493 00:24:19,020 --> 00:24:20,040 Come on, seriously. 494 00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:25,120 Miss O'Malloy, do you have any questions for Sergeant Healy that are related to 495 00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:25,899 this case? 496 00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:30,020 Okay, Sergeant Healy. When you questioned the defendant, was there a 497 00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:31,020 present? 498 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,120 No. 499 00:24:33,850 --> 00:24:37,070 We had a very limited window, you see, to catch their accomplices. No, we'll 500 00:24:37,170 --> 00:24:41,430 Sergeant. Judge, I demand that the defendant's interview get the truck out, 501 00:24:41,470 --> 00:24:42,470 because clearly there's no cause. 502 00:24:43,990 --> 00:24:44,990 Case dismissed. 503 00:24:45,190 --> 00:24:46,190 What? Oh, God. 504 00:24:48,330 --> 00:24:49,330 Ridiculous. Ridiculous. 505 00:24:50,910 --> 00:24:55,750 Well done, lads, for getting away with that. Why didn't you start with that 506 00:24:55,790 --> 00:24:57,170 yeah? Sure, where's the fun in that? 507 00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:08,650 You're actually our heroes, man. We are so lucky to have mentors like you. Like, 508 00:25:08,650 --> 00:25:13,170 genuinely, you taught us how to steal, right? Until we got arrested for it, 509 00:25:13,250 --> 00:25:18,130 right? And then you hired an amazing lawyer to bust us out just to prove, 510 00:25:18,210 --> 00:25:19,750 that stealing doesn't pay? 511 00:25:20,230 --> 00:25:22,170 How genius is that? 512 00:25:22,570 --> 00:25:23,570 Boys. Yeah. 513 00:25:23,850 --> 00:25:25,810 Genius, boys. Genius, genius, boys. 514 00:25:26,150 --> 00:25:28,450 That was the plan. I believe it. Yeah. 515 00:25:29,210 --> 00:25:30,210 Yeah. 516 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:33,920 Chris, do you want to go for a pint? 517 00:25:34,860 --> 00:25:36,060 Yeah! Yeah? 518 00:25:37,140 --> 00:25:38,780 Danfell's no, that was a test. 519 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,440 Fade. Now go on, go home. 520 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,380 Go on. Go on! Go home. 521 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,580 Your legs don't work. All right. 522 00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:50,260 That was just Escobar enough. 523 00:25:55,780 --> 00:25:56,860 Everybody wears their watch. 524 00:25:57,580 --> 00:25:58,580 Watch everybody. 525 00:26:00,740 --> 00:26:01,740 All right. 526 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:02,920 He's a slimy boy. 527 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:06,680 Okay, boy, all right. They owe us, okay? We got them off. We got them off. He's 528 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,920 taking my watch again. All right, we're going to make double the amount. We're 529 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:09,920 not doing it. 530 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,420 Look at all the work we put in, and we still have no money. 531 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,460 It's too much work for nothing. 532 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,720 I'm pretty stressed with being asked about it, all right? It is, boy. I told 533 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:21,720 you. 534 00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:23,540 All right, grind. 535 00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:25,440 Getting too old for this shit, boy. 536 00:26:25,900 --> 00:26:27,540 All right, but what are we going to do about him, then? 537 00:26:29,060 --> 00:26:34,500 Hey, Billy Murphy, you step in here please a minute How you doing? Yes, 538 00:26:34,820 --> 00:26:39,760 Yeah, basically, eh, basically we've thought about the whole operation and 539 00:26:39,900 --> 00:26:44,640 we've decided that as great as you are in the role, we're gonna go a different 540 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:45,640 direction. 541 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,180 Are you firing me? 542 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:49,640 No, no, no, no, no, no. 543 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,560 Well, we're making you redundant. 544 00:26:51,940 --> 00:26:52,940 Yeah. 545 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:54,920 Who are you calling redundant? 546 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,060 Jesus Christ in the ass! Sorry about that lad. 547 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,220 Lost some memory lad. 548 00:27:04,740 --> 00:27:06,360 Jesus Christ!